Like our nation's forefathers, I spent this 4
th of July standing up against tyrany and blatant disregard for personal property. Unlike the forefathers, my foe did not have guns or ships. However, they were just as dangerous. The enemy was a family of raccoons lodged in my car's engine. I discovered the sneaky intruders while attempting to refill power steering fluid.
I opened the hood and noticed four furry objects. I was so surpised that I didn't know what to think. It was one of those moments where you know something is wrong but can't figure out what it is, so you stare looking like an idiot. After it hit me that they were raccoons, I got so startled thinking they were going to lunge for me, that I dropped the hood right on their heads - take that oppressors!
Obviously, this did not take care of the problem. They were still in the engine and now were probably mad. I knew the next time I opened the hood they would attack and tear my face up giving me rabies and ruining my life. But I had to be brave, I could not stand for squatters and theives. I returned with a big stick and I wasn't treading softly.
To begin, my biggest fear was that as I opened the hood they would bite my finger as I flipped the lever. To protect myself I used an ice scraper glove. It turned out my fears were not warranted, the squatters had already gone back to sleep or were unconcious from our first battle. I got the hood up and started banging the side to wake them up. Raccoons sleep like the dead. The one I was able to wake up was understandably mad. He was hissing and bearing teeth, so I poked him. I even started poking his sleeping siblings. Well, that didn't help, it just drove them deeper into the engine. The raccoons were winning. I returned to report, and Mary convinced me to leave the nocturnal animals alone until the evening.
I returned to rid the car of intruders that evening about 11 pm. Unfortunately, they were still sleeping. I guess all that noise and poking created a need to sleep late. To no avail, I banged, poked, and used a squirt gun to get them out. Nothing. The squirt gun was the least effective. They just looked at me and turned their backs - maybe that is what that thick fur is for? I retreated and decided to wait until morning and let the thieving animals leave on their own.
Patience and time paid off. The squatters were gone! I had won the war, that will teach those intruders. I think they learned their lesson and I don't expect them to return.
